I have heard the phrase “do one thing a day that scares you” many many times, but I never do it. I live life pretty much on the safe side. I think the last time I took a risk was 4 months ago when I moved away from home. Or maybe I do it every day by staying at my job because it’s the hardest job I’ve ever done, it challenges me everyday, and it scares me.
Let’s be honest, getting up in the morning and getting over the fear of going to work it’s not the hardest thing to do because at least I get payed to do it. The hardest thing is doing those things that I know I should do, but I don’t do them because I fear embarrassment, or I fear what people will think about them or just because they make me feel awkward and exposed. So yesterday I decided to do something that I never do because well, it scares the hell out me and that is singing.
If you are someone that has known me for a while, you’ve witnessed how nervous I get when someone asks me to sing or how I don’t do it most of the times. I get way too nervous, my legs start to feel unsteady, my whole body shakes (everyone can see it in case I have to hold a microphone) and my cheek shakes too which at the same time makes me feel more embarrassed and I’m like “oh dear cheek please please please stop shaking, everyone is noticing and you’re making everything harder!!” So no, I don’t particularly enjoy the whole experience. I’m like the girl from Coyote Ugly who has stage fright, but at the same time I enjoy doing it when I’m driving or in the shower and no, I don’t just sing in the shower, I perform and I kick every song’s ass in the best way possible. Why? Because no one is watching me and no one can judge me. (If you don’t know what in the world Coyote Ugly is, you might be a lot younger or older than me, so click here).
Yesterday I discovered this little thing on my iphone called Garage Band, I looked for a piano cover of the songs I wanted because I don’t play any instruments and then started recording. You should know I recorded four different songs a million times each one of them and when I pressed play I hated them! (Thanks Adele for setting the bar so high). I don’t know if every performer feels the same way and they don’t like the way they sound or is it just me? I don’t know… To my surprise, today I came to Starbucks, I put on my Frends headphones that block every outside noise and started listening to my song. I cried (when I told you I cried a lot lately I wasn’t lying), I smiled, I felt proud of myself and I thanked whatever force that rules this universe for giving me this gift.
So here it is, for my mom. No matter how far I am, I’ll always be there for you.
Music by a very talented musician I found in Youtube called Jamie Lim